I've gone over the deep end. You know how there are certain things you -know- you should avoid, those sweet temptations that can lead to trouble because they quickly move from attraction to addiction and overindulgence, and possibly ruin?
I don't do drugs, but I have my own vices which I am aware of and try and be cautious of. It's that chocolate bunny you got in your Easter basket when you were a kid - you bite the ears off and leave it for "later". The next thing you know, you're taking another little taste and voila! The whole thing's gone. Or that drink or two you have with the person you're secretly attracted to: inhibitions lift and *blammo* it's no secret.
I like chocolate. I get affectionate after a few drinks. Two conditions I've learned to keep a wary eye on. And then there's Stephen King.
I don't think I even put him on my favorite author list. I haven't read one of his books in -years-. I don't particularly like his subject matter. But damnit, he is a brilliant story teller and his writing style captures me. I get hooked.
When I was dating my (now ex) husband, I borrowed my first dangerous King read from him (The Tommyknockers). We'd taken a weekend trip to visit my dad on his boat. I nearly sabotaged the relationship by spending the whole trip with my nose in that book and subsequently ignoring him. I left that poor man with my dad ALL WEEKEND while I cavorted with King. I was riveted.
Later, after we were married, I had to take a brief hiatus from King reading. I was pregnant, had finished Needful Things, and started The Dark Half. I had to put this one down even though it was a good read. It was too scary/intense - I'm emotional and get heavily involved in what I read, which was amplified while I was pregnant (hormones, whee) and I'd had enough stimulation.
I started up again when I found The Dark Tower series, blazed through the first four and found that the next book hadn't even been written yet. I had trouble wrapping my brain around that, it was weird. I didn't read King for quite awhile after that, partly because of being (ridiculously) annoyed at the unfinished series, but also because I just didn't like some of the other stuff he'd put out at that time. He's since added to the series, I've been thinking of picking it up again. Is it finished?!
So last Saturday night I was in Barnes & Noble (hot date = latte with two splenda). I couldn't find the books I was looking for but I found a Stephen King: Duma Key. I set the book on my end table and ignored it for most of the week, then finally picked it up and started reading.
Now here's the thing -I'm very tactile...things like paper or writing utensils are very personal and I take great pleasure when I find the right pen, or the perfect page. The texture, weight, feel of something I hold in my hand makes a difference to me. I love holding my iTouch, hate holding my cell phone. I love how artist pastel crayons feel, hate the glossy pages of the text-book my son had for history last year. And this book was designed to lure me in.
This paperback has the smooth pages that feel kind of fluid when you thumb through them ( I have no idea about names of paper types, sorry). The book is the same width as the average paperback but (and this took me a day to realize) it's about 1/2 inch longer. It gives the book a weird brochure feeling. I'm not sure that makes sense. Because of the page material, the book lays open on the page you're on, you don't have to fight with it. It makes a satisfying soft papery slap when you close it. Ok, ok, I'm a little overboard, but seriously - the whole psychology of marketing is about sublte things like how a book feels in your hand.
And yep, I'm totally hooked on the story. I've been up past 2am reading it nightly. This leaves me slow in the mornings and tired most of the day, which triggers depression, anxiety, and more tiredness which I alleviate by (oh yes!) curling up with said book and running away with King, escaping into my drug of choice.
I usually have more self control, but even though I'm aware of my weaknesses, sometimes I just can't help myself. I'll finish it quickly, then have a few days of feeling bereft because when you're consumed and the thing that consumes you goes away, there's a void. It's (omg) like a mini-relationship that ends. My cycle of high then low will run itself through, I'll catch up on sleep and pick up the pieces of the week I King-binged: unreturned calls, broken dates, forgetfulness, uncommunicative behavior, a messy house, and a bored dog ( I haven't thrown the frisbee for her all week). I'll get it out of my system and move on to more productive and healthy endeavors, putting my lapse into secret sin behind me.
Song of the day: Nine Inch Nails: Only (As with all song links, just listen, ignore crappy vid)
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