You're reading what?

I'm book-binging. I realized I'm processing 5 books at the moment. I do that when I'm restless and need focus. I'm filling/killing time, basically. I try to make it good stuff for the most part, I can't read crap because it won't hold my attention. I like Repairman Jack, though it's light. So is Austen & Collins if you get into that sort of genre, which I do (closet romantic). I'm plowing my way through George MacDonald, and picking at another Rushdie novel.

I went to Barnes & Noble (yep, Saturday night), got coffee and roved book stacks. I grabbed Austen (cheap!) then ran into Saul Bellow on another shelf. I haven't read Ravelstein, but Saul Bellow really needs my full attention, and it was more $$ than I wanted to spend at the time so I left it, but it's on the List Of Things To Read. I read Herzog years ago and love it, but need to read it again soon.

I'm also considering picking up my calculus text and working my way through it. That, friends, is a sure sign I need to be vigilant and focus on something productive - my brain needs to wrap itself around something. I loved calc, but really. When I was 30-ish (roughly the start of my descent into depression) my mind got restless. Many people turn to religion when they're seeking...solace? I went for theoretical physics. I read Stephen Hawking, essays by Einstein, by Feynman, I read Paul Davies etc, devouring ideas that I had to read carefully and intently to get the gist of. I couldn't have an intelligent discussion about most of it, but it fed my brain and fueled my imagination and made me feel like I was touching some part of my world I hadn't before.

Regarding revisiting/rereading - it annoys the heck out of me when I can't 'discuss' what I've read. I've realized that I tend to read emotionally - I feel what I'm reading, it pulls me along like the current in a river. I experience it, I'm immersed in it. Hell, in high school AP English we read Hemingway's Farewell to Arms. I was really sick with the flu when I read the part about Frederic in the hospital, and I had all sorts of feverish and fitful dreams about him, as if it were me. I have disliked Hemingway since. He's depressing.

Uh, I had a point in there somewhere. Oh yes. I re-read frequently because of this. First read- immersion and emotional connection. Second run - more awareness of details, symbolism, structure, blahblah. Third run - sheer enjoyment, anticipation of particular passages, discovery of tidbits I've missed. Is that normal?

There is one part of my favorite book, The Master & Margarita, that I cherish, absolutely cherish reading. I'll read the whole book just for that small section. It's half a page. But that's how I am. I like parts of things, which I think is a good quality, because it means I 'like' more things - more books, more music, more people, more movies, because I find a part that appeals to me, that I wish to experience again and again. I will love a 'whole' thing just for that element it contains.

That reminds me. Also on the List Of Things To Read is other translations of The Master & Margarita. Translating Russian to English too closely means less idiomatic flow, and though the words are accurate, the feeling may not be. I'm curious if I'll get the same feeling from another translation. I love that book so much, I wish I were Russian to read it. Notice I say 'I wish I were Russian', not 'I wish I could read Russian'. I don't think just learning the language would suffice.

By the way, I've had beer, hence the uh..rambling. Corona Light with lemon in it, lots of lemon. You laugh! That's not real beer, you say. But it's refreshing and goes down easy. The part that I love, that makes me love the whole bottle? The first taste, with the lemon juice still on the lip of the bottle, ice cold, bright and sharp. I cherish that first taste. Ahhh.