10 cats and a cardigan, please

Ah, love. Be prepared for a resuming of late night posting, as I appear to be single again. I am home, Friday night, listening to "Great Opera Duets" (cranked), drinking my SECOND light beer and swapping back and forth between Jane Austen and Saul Bellow. How bad is it? I attempt to sing with the opera duets.

I took a good shot at dating, but I think I doomed myself before I started - Long Distance (though same state). Said gentleman has the means to get me there and get himself here regularly and obliged readily, but it's just not that easy. And that's all I'll say on that subject (heave sigh of relief now, please).

So, back to my evening. At first I thought, "geez, all I need is about 10 cats...", but I realized that I am enjoying being alone. Fridays can be difficult, as my boys are usually out - tonight they're at their Dad's house. He likes to have them up to his girlfriend's big house and cook them steak. It hurts my feelings they have a good time at the big jerk's girlfriend's house, because he really is a big jerk, but I can't tell them that, not cool. One of those situations where I'm homework, chores, and telling them to do all the things they should be doing and their Dad is funtime steak dinners. Wait...I might be venting...where was I?

Ah yeah - evenings at home, alone. Sometimes they're therapeutic. And I freaking LOVE certain opera pieces. Voices soaring, weaving in and out of each other, no idea what they're saying but the feel of the song transmits meaning- Joy, sadness, ecstasy, passion, pleading, huge expressions of emotion, a conversation in music. Yes, I'm a dork.

So, I'm patching my heart up, immersing my head in music, comfortably on my own. I don't fuckin' need anybody.

But, *tiny voice* I want somebody.