Wash your hands

Swine Flu

Birds of a feather

I've been cruising Creamer's Field late in the evening recently, around 10pm-ish. Surprising number of people still hanging around there. There are a ton of seagulls - if I closed my eyes, I could imagine myself on a pier somewhere.

Today there were 5 swans - saw five the other day with mom, she's certain there are six because 'swans are always in pairs'. I'm going to guess they're Tundra Swans , but I'm not sure. Swans really are beautiful in the water, sort of other-worldly. Swans belong in fairy tales, in garden ponds next to castles, giving children, fairies, or a princess a ride on its back. Or a knight - remember that guy? ----->

I saw a crane - love how they walk. I can't decide if it's stately or gingerly. Lots of Canada geese, and a handful of that other white-fronted goose with the orange feet.

And there were mallards today. They were neatly paired up, swimming as if they're tethered to each other. Except one group - there was a male with a female in tow cruising around with two other males following. Watch your back, mate.

I drank my coffee and enjoyed the noise and the smell and the cool night air. Yes, I drink coffee at 10pm. Black, two sugars.

Me and that single swan -hanging out at Creamer's Field.

I'm not a classical music know-it-all, but Yo-Yo Ma's album 'Bach: The Cello Suites' is lovely. My favorites are 1, 3, and 6. Sometimes cello can range into melancholy, but it's the only string voice that really appeals to me - a very expressive instrument. It feels visceral and poignant. And Yo-Yo Ma is brilliant.

This flower is growing in a pot on my kitchen table. It's some kind of Clematis, and shoots vines out that you wrap around a little trellis thingy. I've learned not to put it next to other plants because it'll vine out and tangle up with them. Grabby plant.

"Laugh as much as you breathe, love as long as you live" - who said that? Kind of corny, but it's nice.

Assessment time. This blog is meant to be an exercise in expressing thoughts and ideas - practice grounds. I'm a thinking person, but have never been good at putting thoughts into words. This worsened during my bout with depression. I came out of that period with my thoughts re-awakened but still unable to communicate them well. (I say 'came out of that period' loosely, because it's kind of a never-ending thing, I'm just coping differently or more effectively.)

About 10 years ago, I was slipping into depression but largely unaware of it - signs and symptoms of stress appeared: the inability to remember things, the lack of cohesive expression, inattentiveness. I was slowly becoming aware of the lapses in memory (the holes in my memory drive me nuts, see previous post).

At one point, I was talking with a person affiliated with the program I wanted to apply to for graduate school. The setting was informal, a conversation about a field we were both deeply interested in. By her demeanor, I felt she viewed me as a viable candidate and seemed interested in my direction and encouraging about my prospects. She became concerned at one point, however, and said to me (I kid you not), "You need to use your words."

Use your words. I'd said that to my kids when they were young and trying to express something to me. She was right, though. College educated and I was stumbling, using basic language to describe ideas instead of the specific terms I'd learned in my field. I simply couldn't retrieve the words from my brain and was left to describe the thoughts I had in the most remedial of language. It must have sounded weird - I can't say stupid, because I'm not (and she knew that), but...yeah.

Reading previous posts, I see that I've communicated things that I like, as well as bits of what I know about those things, but I haven't really expressed much of what I think about those things. It's been more of a dumping ground for sticky notes from my brain - things I'd like to remember, bits of information I might want later. Kind of like my desk at work - scattered notes with shreds of information I need for some task, lists, numbers, names, blahblah. I remember things by writing them down.

This isn't going to be a 'me me me' thing. No expressions of deep emotional crap, no emo blahblah. However, as an exercise in 'using my words', I'll need to step it up a bit and express thoughts/concepts more completely and clearly.

For some breathtaking photographs, go here. This one is my favorite.

"Are you content to stand at the edge of the mystery, knowing only some small fraction of it?"

I can't remember who wrote that, it's one of my favorite quotes. I had it in my head it was George MacDonald in Phantastes, but I can't find it. Argh. Huh. May be C.S. Lewis, now that I think of it.

There are homeless people in Fairbanks who spend the entire winter outdoors. I know two of them personally.

Today: walked dog, coffee for breakfast, ate chocolate, brunch at mom's, ate chocolate, grocery store, Lowe's-HomeDepot-gas station, more coffee, considered getting car washed, reconsidered, walked dog, shoveled porch, ate chocolate & some jelly beans ...more excitement (and probably chocolate) to come.

My new favorite song : Chevelle -Well Enough Alone (as usual, ignore video). I love the contrasts.

Today the news says 'Don't eat pistachios' (salmonella scare). Last week I heard that now it's -not- good for women to enjoy a nice glass of wine a few times a week (cancer scare). This, of course, comes after we've been imbibing regularly because having a nice glass of red regularly was reported as good for your health (heart health, antioxidents).

I'm still suspicious of certain tomatoes and don't even mention the peanut paste products.

Solution: take all this 'information' with a grain of salt. Just make sure it's only a grain, and that it's iodized salt because, you know, that's healthier. For now.

I'm practicing Spectromancer, playing against the computer. On easy setting. I'm starting to like it. Pretty soon I'll play against the friend who introduced me to it, and he'll proceed to kick my ass. It'll be fun!