"We have always been fascinated by infinite space, by the endless stars and by galaxies upon galaxies.How does a person feel when looking at the sky?
He thinks that he doesn't have enough tongues to describe what he sees. Nevertheless, people have never stopped describing the sky, simply listing what they see.
Lovers are in the same position.They experience a deficiency of language, a lack of words to express their feelings. But do lovers ever stop trying to do so?"
-Umberto Eco
Monday, February 11, 2013
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Age sucks
So I've been sick all weekend and spent much of it in a cold-med-induced coma. Nothing serious (the plague) and I'll live (there were moments I wished I didn't). Yes, I suffered. I watched movies...some good, some not so good. I watched a chick flick about weddings and it got the wheels turning in my brain about a subject that's been hovering in the corners of my consciousness: Biological imperative.
Let me explain. I'm single. I've never seen myself as being alone, but I am. I've carried the idea around that I would meet someone new...that I might actually meet the "right" person...and life would start anew, the life I am "supposed" to be living.
That's my emotional side.
But I'm also a biologist. I know a little about evolution, about the instincts and biological imperatives that have enabed our species survive. Humans hit a certain age and we have urges...biology prompts men to notice women who are young, healthy looking, with certain body characteristic (nice hips, breasts). Sure those women look "good" and "sexy", but why? Because women who look like that are in their fertile prime. Yes, women have similar traits they seek for in men...it's usually signals that indicate the ability to provide and protect.
And falling in love? Humans are primed for it in a certain age bracket (not just socially, but biochemically). You meet that person and woooo, you're ready to reproduce. Maybe it sounds cynical, but that's what falling in love is - the bond couples form that enables them to stay together build a family and raise their offspring - and there! We've successfully reproduced.
So as i'm keeping an eye out for "Mr. Right", I realize that the biological imperative isn't present in men & women my age. Women my age are still looking for a protector/provider but not for reproductive reasons. And what about the men? If they're still looking for the same thing- young, fertile - that counts me out.
What are the triggers for attraction for people my age? What is the biological imperative? I really LIKE that being in love feeling...is that just not a function of my age group? Not in the biochemical make-up of people in my age bracket...? Ugh.
Perhaps i should be looking for expecting something else?
Let me explain. I'm single. I've never seen myself as being alone, but I am. I've carried the idea around that I would meet someone new...that I might actually meet the "right" person...and life would start anew, the life I am "supposed" to be living.
That's my emotional side.
But I'm also a biologist. I know a little about evolution, about the instincts and biological imperatives that have enabed our species survive. Humans hit a certain age and we have urges...biology prompts men to notice women who are young, healthy looking, with certain body characteristic (nice hips, breasts). Sure those women look "good" and "sexy", but why? Because women who look like that are in their fertile prime. Yes, women have similar traits they seek for in men...it's usually signals that indicate the ability to provide and protect.
And falling in love? Humans are primed for it in a certain age bracket (not just socially, but biochemically). You meet that person and woooo, you're ready to reproduce. Maybe it sounds cynical, but that's what falling in love is - the bond couples form that enables them to stay together build a family and raise their offspring - and there! We've successfully reproduced.
So as i'm keeping an eye out for "Mr. Right", I realize that the biological imperative isn't present in men & women my age. Women my age are still looking for a protector/provider but not for reproductive reasons. And what about the men? If they're still looking for the same thing- young, fertile - that counts me out.
What are the triggers for attraction for people my age? What is the biological imperative? I really LIKE that being in love feeling...is that just not a function of my age group? Not in the biochemical make-up of people in my age bracket...? Ugh.
Perhaps i should be looking for expecting something else?
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