You're The Salt Within My Tears

Yes. Close your eyes as you listen (the blinkiness of the video is enough to make your head explode- annoying) Try not to tap your foot or bob your head, or even shake your hips during the swingy part in the middle. I mean really, just try.

June craziness

So I cut my hair off about 6 weeks ago. I've never had short hair. I tell everyone I was very brave and tried something different, but really, I believe it was an act of desperation. I was in one of those moods where I felt like a particle that was building up energy and needed to explode into some kind of movement- I needed to do -something- but the choices seemed limited. So I cut my hair. I know that sounds weird & silly, but there it is. Enough about the hair.
By the way, the first picture I tried to take had my eyes closed. I've found that 80% of the photos taken of me have my eyes closed. Perhaps I blink a lot.
A bunch of my family came to town in June - it was a month of fun & socializing, which I don't do near enough of. We ate, drank, did a float down the river, had a big party, ate, drank, laughed & told stories.  Family came & went all through the month. I moved out for a week so that my brother and his entourage could all just stay at my house - I stayed at my mom's with my sister. She was here the whole month, we got some good time together. I have two brothers and one sister - we're all within 5 years of each other in age. We hadn't all been in the same place at once in about 12 years. They all left July 3, all at once - it's so quiet now! But I'm glad to be back at home and really, I was ready for some quiet. It seems that it's feast or famine where visiting family is concerned. I miss them a lot, especially my sister. My kids are all here and we get together for dinners & movies, but the hubub of a huge family  gathering was fun.
I'm not sure what my point is here, I'm kind of rambling. Family is a stabilizing element and I guess I'm saying I'm in a better frame of mind than I was a month ago. Nothing like siblings to make you feel as if you're in familiar territory.
It's amazing here right now - 24 hours of daylight. It's broad daylight at midnight, and the evenings are beautiful  - very hard to remember to get to bed on time ;) I love this time of year in Alaska. We've passed the Solstice, though, and we're slowly losing minutes of light from each day. In August, we're "normal" and have dark nights. By the time we hit December, we're down to a mere few hours of daylight in the afternoon. But we'll not think of that now! For us, summers are short, but summer days are long - we soak 'em up.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midnight_sun

Blue Fish

1. You look funny.
2. You are interesting looking
3. You are not one of us

I'm the blue fish. People look at me, but I can't decide what it means. My sense of self is whacked. Am I attractive? Or am I odd looking? Am I different in a good and fascinating way, or an odd and puzzling way? Do I have that pissed off or pained expression on my face that I get when my mind is elsewhere, even though I'm not pissed off or pained? Is there something that interests you or something that repels you? Confuses you? Alarms you?

My people skills are good where they are good, but there are gaping holes, blind spots where I can't read others because the thoughts in my head get in the way.

I'm in such a weird place right now. I'm not well defined, and I feel as if I'm in unfamiliar surroundings. I'm kinda floating. I feel off course.I've missed my flight and I'm stranded somewhere I don't know, somewhere I don't fit. I'm having an out-of-self experience.Whacked..

Welcome baby

Today my grandson was born. He is my second grandchild, and joins his sister, now two. They are both beautiful. My daughter and her husband are beginning a stage of life that is amazing and wonderful. I look back on when I was this age, and my children were still all in the nest and we were the center of each other's universes. It was so much FUN. And i knew exactly who I was and why I was alive.

I wish for my daughter the happiness and completeness that a family can bring. I wish for her to enjoy it, to breathe it, to savor it. I wish for her to have FUN, and to live IN every moment she gets with them.

swimming to the surface

I see it up there,
From down in the dark.
Down in the depths.
I see the filtered radiance
Of the daylight above,
The sky above,
And the freedom, just strokes away.
I am tired.
Gravity pulls.
I am tired.
My strength wanes.
I'm tired.
Climb, swim, fly.
I see it. Up there.

Whether far or soon

I love this song, it always makes my heart soar/sore. (haha)I don't associate it with anyone in particular but it just makes me frickin' happy when I hear it. I've heard an acoustic version but this one just does it for me. It's nicely put together. Whatever it is, I like it.



It's gloriously sunny here. Warm enough to get out in, blazingly bright from sun & snow & blue sky, a perfect winter day. time to get oustide.

Here's me, taken last night.

Have I really not posted since Valentine's Day?

This cracks me up every time I read it.